Minor Update!

I've been in a season where I have felt like my connection with the Lord has become second place to ministry. I am not sure what exactly happened or how it came to be that way but I came to a place where the Lord wouldn't let me continue on as if nothing was wrong. Towards the end of my last trip in South Africa it was as if the Lord lifted His blessing off of ministry and I was forced to leave Africa and return to the states.
When I returned it was still very difficult to reconnect with the Lord. Which was when He introduced me to a strange new method of revelation named Rachael! Rachael and I met in Mozambique at Iris Ministries in 2006 but something happened when we started talking this time, my heart went absolutely crazy! I couldn't wait to talk to her, I couldn't stop thinking about her! I became a lovesick mess in almost no time at all!
I was reading psalm 139 a while ago and Jesus really started talking to me through it via my relationship with Rachael! I finally started to understand His heart for me! I don't know have many times I have read through that particular chapter but this time I started to understand!

17 How precious are your thoughts concerning me, O God! How vast in number they are!

18 If I try to count them, there would be more of them than there are grains of sand.

I started to interpret through a different lens..... I know my thoughts toward Rachael, how often I think of her, how my heart feels when I think of her and all these kinds of thoughts. Then feeling the Lord smile knowing that I was finally understanding how he feels towards me, towards all of us!
Knowing the pleasure the Lord feels about me and how it truly has nothing to do with whether or not I am going crazy trying to reach the lost or get the sick healed or the demonized delivered.
All of these things I thought that I understood but it was more of a head knowledge and not real knowing! The real Christian life is just loving Jesus and letting Him love us! Perfect love casting out all fear and anxiety about life and ministry and just being able to abandon ourselves in absolute trust to Him! Out of that place flows all anointing, ministry and life. What are we not willing to do for those that we love? Those we love we want to please because if it matters to them then it matters to us! And how free does that make us in Him, knowing that the things on my heart are on His as well! And how amazing to have God who loves us with a love that is so immense that we will likely never in all eternity be able to fully grasp!

OK, sorry I went Missing in Action there for a while. I made it back to Montana ( and I am never really sure what I think about that lol ). I am stoked about a couple of things though, cheesecake from Olive Garden and my new bible, the God's Word Translation.
I came back to the states under protest and not being really sure why I had to return. But since I have been back I have been making a lot of connections to people from the past. People who have had major parts in my spiritual life. So I have been thinking a lot about connections and the need for strong relationships in our lives. Not only ministry connection and church backing but people who we invite into our lives, people that we give ourselves to and also take from their lives into our own.
After all when Jesus talked about taking up our cross and following Him what did he mean? His cross meant laying down his life for others. Think about it, any effective ministry is much more than just going out and sharing a message from the bible. It is inviting people into a family. A family that has God as the head and the rest of us as sons and daughters. It is inviting them out of alienation and isolation and asking them to come close and see that our Father is indeed GOOD!
When you think about perhaps the only true thing in this life that we have to offer is ourselves. Its the only thing that we truly own, so its the only thing that we can truly offer to God and our greatest gift to others.
I am not sure what this next season is going to look like but I know it will be good. I know it will be a time of filling in some gaps that have been both in my life and in my ministry. I know it will be a good season!

For the first time last night at our Friday night service I was able to preach without an interpreter! It was amazing, I could actually get in the flow of the Spirit a bit! I was having one of those days...you know the ones! =)

I just couldn't get into preparing a sermon for the evening. As I was sitting there I started thinking about Ezekiel 37 and the valley of dry bones. We have all heard so many sermons preached on that passage that its sick! But I felt that the Lord wanted me to preach on that passage based upon not giving up on the promises of God in our lives! I found as I was preaching on the very thing that I myself needed to hear. Still I am not sure if anyone else in the church received anything out of the message but it rocked me!

It was like I was speaking the words of God directly to myself. It was so good to hear the Lord say to me " don't give up on your dreams that I have given you, even when they seem so far off and nearly impossible! I am still devoted to bring them to pass! "

I was so encouraged to press in and to stay focused on Him and His faithfulness! In the end we can never rely on people we can never rely on ourselves, but the one who has called us is faithful!